Photographs and Memories
by Avatar Vader
Summary: Years after a tragedy, Father and Son go to visit mom and emotions erupt.


**Photographs and Memories**

Raku awoke in the early morning, his chest rising and falling fast. Sweat breaks on his forehead as he sits up. He looks to his left at the clock. 5:03am. He looks to his right at the spot where _she_ should be. His wife and his best friend. She wasn't there, she hasn't been for 2 years or so.

Raku get up out of bed and walks to his bathroom. He starts up the shower. The steam fogs up the mirror before him leaving it a pale-ish white. He gets into the shower and cleans himself off, a relatively short process. Raku ends up staying in the shower for a half hour. His eyes stinging from the shampoo he used that had gotten into his eyes. He leans back against the wall of the shower; his left thumb unconsciously feels the warming metal on his left finger. His mind flashes back to that night, driving down a country road, a blinding flash of light then darkness.

"Damnit" he curses while getting out of the shower. Raku dries off and gets dressed, then walks downstairs to the kitchen and begins breakfast. Soon its done and he grabs a plate for himself and a smaller one for his son. "Alright ye bastards come and get it!" He shouts out to his gang members who quickly get up and grab food. Raku takes his food up to his son Haku's room.

"Haku, wake up time for breakfast!" He says knocking on the door. He hears a groan from the other side of the door. "Come on Haku! Up and at 'em!" Haku slowly gets up from his bed and puts on a shirt. He shuffles over to the door and slowly slides it open.

"Why did you wake me up at 6:30 in the morning?" Haku says rubbing the crusty bits out of his eyes.

"I'm going to go to Raiudo today, wanna come see Mom? It's been a while?!" Raku says passing his son the food he made. His 12-year-old boy walks it into his room and sets it down on a small table he has.

"I suppose. Can we stop by Aunt Kosaki's place after?" Haku asks looking at his father with those deep blue eyes he had inherited from his mother. How was a father supposed to say no to that?

"We always do, don't we?" Raku says knowing the answer was and always has been affirmative. "Be ready in an hour! I wanna beat that Tokyo traffic.

It was nearing 2 in the afternoon by the time the father and son made it to Raiudo. Raku shakes his son awake. "Let's go." He says getting out of the car. Haku hops out and looks up the hill. Traversing the side of the hill is a long staircase that snakes its way up cutting a trench through the trees. A few rays of golden light shine through the heavy leaves on the eastern side of the path. Raku starts up the hill his heart pounding in his ears. The hill is quiet as they walk, all he can hear is the wind rustling the branches and the sound of a stream making its way down the hill, the rush of water as it goes down a fall and crashes into a pond. Haku has been here before, but it doesn't diminish the awesomeness of the surroundings. Once he gets to the top of the hill he can almost see Tokyo from here he starts to run up the hill.

"Eh! Haku! Don't go to fast! Stay within sight, you know the rules!" Raku jogs to catch up to his son. "You know the rules" He says as he catches up with Haku and grabs his hand. The rest of the journey Raku puts his son on his shoulders. Once they're about two thirds of the way up, Haku Points up into the sky.

"Dad look! It's an Eagle!" He gazes up into the sky to see a majestic eagle flying down into the forest and landing on a nest with another eagle. Raku picks up his Binoculars that were draped around his neck.

"Ohhhh! Take a look!" Haku grabs the device and looks at the birds. They were majestic; a dark brown with a white head and a solid yellow beak.

"Whoa! I've never seen them in that colour!" Haku zooms the binoculars in closer.

"You see my dear boy." Raku says quickly. "Back in the 1950's the American government gifted four pairs of Bald Eagles to Japan. It was a way to show off their military victory against us in the Pacific War. It also symbolized an unyielding attempt to watch the skies over Japan." 'So cool!'

As Raku and Haku reach the top the older man drop the younger off on his feet. In front of the two is a small church sitting on the top of the hill. A fence goes off to the sides until it hits the drop off point of the small 'landing'.

"Go say hi." Raku says to his son as he sits down on a small bench located right outside the church.

Haku walks into the cemetery and weaves his way to the big marble stand he knows as his mother's resting place. Carved into the display of the tombstone is 'Chitoge Ichijou July 20, 1997-August 17th 2020 loving wife and mother.' And 'Raku Ichijou March 20th 1998- 'in between the two is a golden plate saying 'Zwasze in love with a chain carved in to the plate down to a [Raku's] Pendant between the two names.

"Hi mom." Haku stands awkwardly, it was so very weird to be talking to a stone face. "Um, I'm going to start middle school soon. So, uh, that's cool!" Haku puts his hand on the back of his neck. "I know I don't come to see you as often as I should but…. Erm. Sorry mom." Haku stood there a wave of emotion rushing over him as he says what he's wanted to for a very long time.

"I'm sorry mom! I'm so sorry that we couldn't spend more time together! I'm sorry that I can't remember things about you. I don't remember how your voice sounds. I'll never learn what you sound like laughing! And I don't know how you smelled! I've never gotten the chance to talk to you about school or ask about grandma and grandpa Kirisaki!" Haku's eyes are filling with tears. "there was so much we should have done together… so much we could have done together! I miss you mommy! I miss you!" Haku's tears start dripping on the gravesite. When he was old enough to ask, and understand his father had given him an old key that he said his mom had since she was a child. He holds this key tight, feeling as though there were some connection to his mom. Calmly he kisses the stone and goes back to his father.

' _Hmm so he finally made some progress.'_ Raku mutters to himself as Haku comes up to the bench to sit down. Haku's eyes are clearly red with sadness and he seems to be holding onto something tightly.

"Stay here son." Raku says looking towards the gates with trepidation. "Ill be back soon."

"T-take your time pops." Haku says quickly. Raku knods knowing full well that the young man means it.

Raku walks forward and swings the black gate open. He walks forward, he courses through the smaller cemetery with practiced ease. He comes upon his best friends final home, and eventually his last spot too.

"Hey honey." Raku says "I miss you more than you can think right now…" he brushes off some leaves that had fallen on the stone. "there's so many things I wish I could say to you at this moment." His eyes start welling with tears. "Uh-Erm, a long time ago back when we were still faking everything and I still liked Ono- Erm Kosaki…. Shuu had asked me who I really liked… You or Kosaki. At that time I was torn but, Shuu gave me some advice, he said to think about things that make me happy… Seeing a double rainbow, finding a favorite food. He told me to think about these things, and he asked me to think of who the first person I wanted to tell…" Raku pauses and inhales sharply. "it was y-you! I hadn't realized it but you were the only person I wanted to be with. I miss you so much, there's so much we had to do. I-i-I wanted to grow old with you! I wanted to see Haku graduate with you and maybe even have another -Sniff- child with you!" Raku collapses to his knees clinging onto the headstone. "There's so much to talk about. I want to complain about work to you. I want to pick you up from the airport at 2 in the morning just to see your face after months and months of not seeing you! I wanted to go to America and meet all of your family again…. I-I only met them the one time at the wedding." Raku's body slouches over his knees. "bu-but most of all… I want to hold you again! I want to feel your warmth on my skin… I want to warm your cold arms in the winter! I want to feel your soft cheeks in my hands again!" Raku pauses, shaking with sadness and anger. "I want to be lying next to you while you sleep and wake you with little kisses! There's so much we didn't have time for!" He pauses staring at the ring on his finger. "But most of all I miss the small things, the way your hair looked first thing in the morning. How you would just throw your shoes off to the side after a long day of work."

Raku was sitting hunched over where his wife lay, Physically fine but emotionally and Mentally turbulent. "I want you back, I want you to be with me again. Chitoge, I love you!" He shouts at the heavens, knowing that It won't do anything in the slightest.

Raku stays immobilized for a solid half hour before he gets up. He holds tightly to the headstone and kisses the top of his. "Zwase in love." He says, with his pendant swung down with the gravity. "You'll always have my heart." Raku leaves the cemetery and clasps the gate hitch down tightly. He looks over to Haku, who fell asleep.

"Cant be helped I suppose" Raku says as he checks his phone 4:00 Aug. 17th 2032.

 **End**

 **Hello, erm. So this is my first time doing an Anime fic and a romance/Angsty one as well.**

 **The erm, title is from a song by Jim Croce of the same name. would highly recommend listening to it!**

 **Kindly let me know how I did in that thing that looks like a review section.**

 **FTR the bald eagle bit was made up for a father/son connection moment as far as I can tell didn't happen in real life.**

 **The setting of Riaudo was made up as well, I couldn't find out where Bonyari would've been IRL so I had nowhere to look as refrence, in my mind Raiudo would've been kinda like one of the more remote places in Japan so It would take a while to get to.**

 **Lastly but certainly not least…. THANK YOU FOR READING!**

 **~AvatarVader**


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